Welcome to the fun! We’re all mad here.

I’m tired of not being able to say what I want because people will judge me. I’m tired of holding things in because people will think I’m crazy. You know what? Fuck ‘em. Here I can say whatever the hell I want and no one can judge me. Here I can make inappropriate jokes and tell nonsense stories. Here I can be myself.

Join me, join us, and say whatever the hell you want. Scream ‘WOLVERINES!’ from the top of your lungs, wear a panda suit, scare your friends tweeting about the zombie apocalypse, buy a giant metal chicken, look for a cat named Bob Barker, get to know the mighty saga of James Garfield. Do something completely silly today. Life is too short. Break the rules, kiss slowly, forgive quickly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably. Do something that will make you furiously happy, and never regret it. And most importantly, be yourself.

And in case you didn’t notice, I’m warning you: we’re all mad here. Enjoy!

We're all mad here.

P.S.: If you don’t understand the references I’m using, you should totally go read The Bloggess. She makes me furiously happy.

Greeeeeen!

I had wanted to have a nice intro to this blog and to myself. But, I figure this sums what you're about to get into pretty nicely:

[Mom] "Wow, road rage much?"

[Me] "That wasn't road rage."

[Mom] "You honked twice, pointed, then rapid-fire honked 5 times while pointing at the light going 'Green! Green! Greeeeen!'. What else would you call that?"

[Me] "It's only road rage when it's unnecessary… This was absolutely necessary. He was keeping me from my food because he was fucking with his GPS. WHILE THE LIGHT WAS GREEN. So technically he was committing a moving violation by not going when he was supposed to. Thus, I not only made my point and got his attention, I saved him from getting a ticket since we're RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE POLICE STATION. *points* I'm a good person."

I'd love to say 'and then I had cake', but it was only soup. Chicken noodle soup. I needed comfort food, saving people from traffic violations is hard work.